


Kisses and Poison

by crazyfangirl221b



Series: A Universe Made of Stars [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, No actual sex, Sex Pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 07:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8153321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyfangirl221b/pseuds/crazyfangirl221b
Summary: Batman gets hit with one of Poison Ivy's latest concoctions and Catwoman is the only sane person in Gotham.





	

It was a dark and stormy night. Actually, wait, that’s not thunder, its explosions. Selina shrugged, this was Gotham after all it’s easy to get the two confused. She slid out of the skylight of an elegant penthouse with her quarry: a fifteen thousand dollar cat’s eye gem necklace. After glancing around for bats, robins, and other do-gooding menaces, she realized that the explosions were only about ten blocks away. Worse, she would have to go right through them to get home. She groaned as she saw that Batsignal shining bright against Gotham’s perpetual cloud cover. On the off chance that was for her, she knew she needed to get back to her safe house as soon as humanly possible. Oh well, she’d dealt with explosions before, stay a block or two away and keep an eye out for shrapnel and she’d knew she’d be fine.

Dashing across the rooftops came easy now, after a lifetime of practice she never faltered not even in the dark. She slowed down when she came closer to where the battle was being waged, with so many cops around, falling would mean almost certain arrest. So when she did stumble, she knew exactly who to blame.

“Batman,” She purred as she fluidly got to her feet. “Catch me if you can.”

A foot sliced out of the shadows to trip her and she somersaulted rather than fell. When she stood up, she found that she literally had her back against a wall. Well, she’d gotten out of tighter situations than this, even if Batman was here.

“So now what?” she grinned at the approaching shadow. “I run, you chase, or are you in the mood for something a bit more-umfhg.” She was cut off as Batman swooped in closer to her and pressed his lips to hers, his gauntleted hands gently cupping her chin.

“Oh I like this,” Selina moaned as his hungry kisses traveled lower, then stiffened as her roaming hands tugged a small leaf that had been trapped his belt. A disappointed pout appeared on her lips as she pulled an aerosol can from her utility belt and sprayed a special little mixture she called “Go to Sleep Now” inches from his nose. She held her breath to give it time to dissipate as he slumped against her and she laid him down on the roof to get a better look.

Something had happened to Bat-no Bruce, he had removed the cowl sometime during their encounter, and that was the last confirmation she needed that had she continued, it would have been a very bad mistake. Selina turned toward where the explosions had come from earlier and saw the Gotham Botanical Gardens. She located his discarded mask, placed it over his eyes, then sighed and went into the heart of the newly grown jungle. Poison Ivy, wacky pheromones, must be Tuesday.

It took some maneuvering and more than a little angry cussing to _finally_ find Poison Ivy, sitting on a throne made of, what else, ivy. That’s not over dramatic _at all_.

“I have a horny Batman unconscious on a roof, and what am I supposed to do with him?” Selina crossed her arms and waited for what she was sure to be a very good explanation.

Ivy laughed. “So he just ran straight to you?”

“So you did do this.” Selina rubbed her eyes; she was starting to feel like a den mother. “Would an explanation be too much to ask?”

Ivy sighed. “I mixed up a little something to douse Joker with for Harley’s birthday. Oh, and you better show up to her party this year.”

“You were going to drug Joker. Then you would give him to Harley as a birthday present. Then you were going to hope neither of them would try to kill you.” Selina sighed. Again. With that kind of common sense, it’s no wonder she always ends up in Arkham.

“First of all, I can take care of myself. Secondly, this pollen doesn’t work unless the target already has feelings for… whoever.” Ivy looked pointedly at Selina. “You did say Batman just ran right into your arms?”

“I’m not touching that with a ten foot pole.” Selina asked with a raised eyebrow. “Just give me the damn cure.”

“Well, when you put it _that_ way…” Ivy sighed. “Pinch this at the base of its head while the petals are in his face and he should go back to normal.” She said as she handed over a flower bud and muttered. “I’ve got no idea why you’d want him to, but hey to each her own.”

“I heard that!” Selina said as she took the bud and raced back to her whatever he was.

She reached Batman just as he was beginning to regain consciousness she knelt down and gently helped him into a sitting position. She brought the bud to his face, held her breath, and pinched just like Ivy told her. Batman coughed several times and shook his head.

“Hey good-looking,” Selina teased, “How ‘bout a kiss?”

Batman growled and rolled away still dizzy from Ivy’s pollen. Selina grinned, happy to know he was as good as he ever was, and dashed off into the night before he could arrest her for her earlier theft.

 

 

It was another week until she saw him again. If she had to guess, she’d say it took him that long to clean up Ivy’s mess, triple check his system for toxins, and track her down. The Catwoman has always been very good at hiding.

He broke into her apartment, no concept of boundaries that man. She knew he was there as soon as she entered the room of course. There were only so many dark corners a grown man could conceal himself in, still she let him have his dramatic reveal.

“Why?” a single word pierced the silence, Batman’s usually gravelly voice had an edge that might have almost been emotion.

“Why, what?” Selina replied.

“Why did you help me? You’ve always made your intentions plain in the past and I know how you feel about me,” he swallowed hard, “Or at least I thought I did.”

“And I know how you feel about me.” Selina replied gently. “And if that changes, I will accept no less than a notarized letter affirming no supervillain involvement.”

It’s difficult to see any emotion behind the mask, but Selina liked to think she surprised him with her answer. In any event, he seemed to get what he came for and instead of answering her; he glided off into the night.


End file.
